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J.G. Wentworth Blog

17 hilarious quotes about money


  1. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason


  1. “Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” – Henny Youngman


  1. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson


  1. “I hope that when I die, people say about me, ‘Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’” – Jack Handey


  1. “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” – Groucho Marx


  1. “This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.” – Earl Wilson


  1. “Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner


  1. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben


  1. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by four o’clock.” – Henry Youngman


  1.  “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” – Malcolm Forbes


  1. “The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.” – David Richerby


  1. “Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets.” – Jerry Seinfeld


  1. “The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kim Hubbard


  1. “When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know that it is.” – Oscar Wilde


  1. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.” – Robert Frost


  1. “Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” – Steven Wright


  1. “I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention.” – Ron Kittle

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